14 May 2007

Beautiful day with smiling happy awesome people. I was so easy and happy about everything and everyone. I just love how engaging individuals make me so much happier to be alive. I long to be engaged, I'm so done with the depressing morbidity of self and individual. I am done being boxed in my brain, to mutter to myself, create scenarios, cut and paste the past. A smile and conversation and you've made my day. I'm so easy to love, and I love so easily. <3

Trite

I am so very glad that I write things out, instead of running my mouth in real time. So. Very. Glad. My own insecurities are alarming to me, and as long as they run rampant through me, I am relieved to have this outlet to jot them out in. So that I can be embarrassed of my self, and also learn to rationalize without frivolity. To maintain sanity in times of chaos.

Transparency

I totally called this one. I KNEW the amount of disparage this new turn of events would bring and lo and behold I got exactly what I foresaw. Unforth, there was no way to avoid this. I'm just so terribly sad at my best friends. Soon to be ex-best friends. I'm not going to be naive as to suppose that I will completely cut them outside of my life, but their presence will be minimal to say the least. Minimal. It's all apart of the growing up process, people are constantly growing into different stages and we're all different. What is naive is love and the belief that it can prevail over the shitstorm that is time. No, it can't. People change. It's sad. But it happens. The more you live the more you learn.